MAKING PEACE WITH YOUR PAST
Soul Message: Make Peace with your Past so
It doesn’t spoil your Present
It can be very easy for me or any Therapist to say to a Client: “Let the past go - - it’s gone and it is creating a lot of difficulty within your present life”…..but sometimes it is not so easy for them to follow those sparse instructions. Why? The answer is unique to the individual. Also, often as a Therapist, when we give suggestions, innately we believe that the Client knows exactly how to do just what we are asking.
So I’d like to explore some of the reasoning as to why some people choose to hold on to the past and also some of the ways in which to let it go.....
Why Some People Hold Onto the Past:
a) It can be our ‘Expectation” of how we feel life ‘should be’. This especially seems to apply to how ‘We” think parent(s) or spouse(s) or children should/should not behave. Can we control the behaviour of our parents or of any other person within our life – including our children? Parents and children come from a totally different generation than we do – their beliefs are different - - their understanding and reality of life is different than our personal reality. Each generation comes with a totally different astrological alignment at the moment of their birth, so reality changes for each generation.
We call Pluto the Generational planet, which means it changes signs ever 15-20 years – giving us a new generational and evolutionary mindset. How would we ever evolve if this didn't happen? Even though it may not match our own belief system, it is important to try and delve into what others believe and to also envision how 'they' see life. It also teaches us how ‘we’ want to parent - - exactly like our parents? Or to change the parenting structure…..this is now our choice.
Using Astrology as a background, we believe that we ‘choose’ our parents, to work out things that perhaps did not work out from other lifetimes. Which, also means that our children chooses us – what have they come to teach us? This can sometimes be very difficult to comprehend as to ‘why’ we would have chosen this specific parent/child, who we believe, did not do a very good job. IF we knew the contract from a past lifetime (which our astrology chart does reveal) – it would help us to understand the exact lesson, and to fully understand that our relationships are exactly playing out as they should.
The astrological signs of Cancerians and Virgos can become stuck in the mindset of parental duties and can sometimes become their parents ’or ‘children’s greatest critics.
b)Sometimes people hold onto the past - - because it is ‘what they know’. In some people’s minds, there is a big scary world out there, and if they hold onto the past, it means they don’t have to open that door to see what’s on the other side. The negative energy of Fear rules and lives here. Earth signs such as: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorns can feel much safer on ground that is familiar versus stepping outside of the comfort zone. Working with these clients, family members, it’s important to show them how to find security within themselves and to find confidence in what they can easily do on their own. Teaching them confidence is one of the greatest gifts we can do for these individuals. Allowing them to explore, make mistakes, and learn how to correct their own mistakes can be a fabulous gift to give them.
c) Sometimes holding onto the past can allow for a ‘victim’ mentality and this can bring in much-needed attention. We have to remember that “bad attention is better than no attention’. This can also come from the non-acceptance of responsibility. Very seldom do we see this as a ‘control’ issue but indeed it can become that. If we envision life as a 'boxing ring' and it means that by my thoughts I can prove how mean Johnny/Sally was to me….I’m gathering all this support over on my side of the boxing ring and Johnny/Sally won’t have anyone over on their side of the boxing ring. This can bring in energy exchange of Passive/Aggressive mentality. Very seldom do we think of Fire signs such as: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius as passive signs – but they often use this mentality. The ‘aggression’ comes in to pulling you to their mindset.
When Water signs such as Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces come into this mindset, it sometimes concerns me as Water signs have been known to ‘drown in their emotions’ meaning they can often stay there in victim mentality for some time. At least with the Fire signs, we know they will be up and at it, onto another project, before too long.
d)Air Signs such as Gemini, Libra & Aquarius are not so much about ‘staying in the past’ – they have a tendency to look more into the Future and so sometimes they simply don’t ‘deal with the past’……it slides on by as if it has never happened. This can bring in health issues – often dealing with Asthma and lungs showing up as a 'grieving' scenerio and how they thought 'should' have been.
Ways to move past the Past:
a)People didn’t live up to our expectation.
Come to the realization that people don’t ‘have’ to live up to our Expectations. Just the same as we don’t have to live up to others expectations. Everybody sees life through a different set of eyes and how you see the situation, and how others around you see the situation, can be entirely different. Why? Because we all have had a different past-life experience with this individual in front of us which changes what we believe our ‘history’ to be with this person.
When we say; “But, that is not how “I” would have reacted to the situation. Now we are trying to make the individual conform to our expectations. When we set up expectations for others, we automatically set up ourselves up for disappointment. It is highly likely this person could never live up to our expectations.
Here we work with – What are we willing to put up with? Everything in life comes at a cost. It is important to decide where that line is drawn. It is also important to share our expectation with the individual to allow them the ability to say; “Sorry, I could never live up to that.’ Then it is up to you, to decide whether you want to play.
B) Not feeling you can move from the Past:
Often clients will tell me they ‘want’ to move from the past they just don’t know how. And that is a very fair statement.
Here is a good way to do it; Envision yourself firmly standing and picture a large bubble in front of you (like a balloon). On the outside of the balloon are the words “THE PAST” in capital letters.
Envision a ribbon connecting you to this balloon….then take a pair of scissors and see yourself cutting that ribbon – allowing the balloon to ride freely up into the air. Quietly in your mind say; "Thank you past for your lessons – I am now ready to move into the future. " Watch the balloon float away until it is out of your vision.
If there is a ‘person’ in your past that you feel inwardly you can’t get away from…he/she plays constantly on your mind – you can do this same type of meditation. Instead of a balloon, envision the person walking away – again cut the ribbon……and allow them to continue walking. This is so important to do especially when there is a Co-Dependency happening.
Sometimes we have to do this meditation a couple of times - but the subconscious gets the message and the situation or person is released.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever see the person again. It simply means there will be a totally different attachment and you won’t feel so emotionally trapped by this individual. You will find over time that when you think or see this individual - no emotions well up to the surface.
Co-dependent relationships are not good for anyone. It automatically sets up an energy field that keeps people stuck (on both sides - including you).
This meditation can even be done if the other person has passed on – we release the person……again I say…..doesn’t mean we won’t have a relationship with this individual – it simply changes the dynamic of the relationship.
If you need help in making this happen - you know where to find me!
LET THE PAST GO
AND CREATE A NEW FUTURE!